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I can see you naturally falling into a submissive role with the two of them if that's what you did with your husband already. If not, I think maybe this has moved too far without you having been consulted and you're accepting that a bit too readily. Either way, I'd have a good mental session with yourself and think on how you truly feel about what's happened, and how you can state your feelings in a neutral way.

And then talk with your husband. Then once you two have it ironed out, talk with the stud.

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Then all of you talk together. Our relationship is, indeed, built on much more than sex.

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Sex has just been a nice thing that added to everything lately, but it had gotten boring I have always been sexually submissive to my husband, from day one. And he is naturally dominant in bed. In life we are generally more equal, though I am probably a bit sub--no, I am. In my own career and external life, I am a total dom. So it is nice to have balance. I like being submissive to him and it feels natural. I was the little boy who wanted to be Robin, not Batman. Better clothes and sub to Batman. It is in my core. Regarding being sub to both of them, yes, that came naturally, too.

Especially to the new bf. He just brings it out in me, without even asking. Has never suggested I be sub, it just of happened over the course of a few months. Communication has been key, though my husband is terrible at communicating. Happily, the bf is better. So I will start with my husband, and then the bf, and then all three. Well, that's just it.

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I am scared. I don't know what to expect. He is taking over the marital bed, and that is a strong message of my status now. I am secondary. Is it game over, or is it just a new and exciting time for us? Has anyone been through this? My partner and I of 6 years have explored this as well and have found that communication is 1 priority between all consenting adults. We've dated other couples and 3rds at time our average relationship is 6 months or so. The only comment that I'm going to give you as a neutral observer is that a guy that you guys have dated briefly..

If it continues to please you and you are all happy then I'm very happy for you: I don't see him as the abusive type at all. He is very kind, but just naturally dominating. He owns every room he walks into. Abuse does not seem to fit him, but I will be cautious. I will have one with the husband tomorrow. It is time. But we have been together 10 years and I love him so much. But we all have to be happy. I am now, but I can see it going bad as he falls deeper in love with the bf. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy.

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Submit a new text post. Get an ad-free experience with special benefits, and directly support Reddit. News, views, and issues around polyamory, polyfidelity, poly people, and related issues. That said, these are the set rules: This includes possibly removing posts asking how to find "a third" or "a unicorn. Someone who shares his interests in swimming, hiking, rock concerts and going to the gym.

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Anne Wermiel Job: Travel blogger. Mazin, then a graduate student in her late 20s, came home early from her part-time job to discover her boyfriend of two years in the arms of her roommate. Honesty and commitment. Read Next. Six reasons to head to the Berkshires before summer ends.

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